it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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