yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
