PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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