Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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