i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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