I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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