i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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