she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
