I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
