sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I AM VODKA MAN
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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