I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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