I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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