What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
