oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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