I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Randomize
