Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
