We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
