Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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