I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
