oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
