Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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