Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
