sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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