Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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