how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
