She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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