yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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