i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
