New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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