Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
did i just pee glitter
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
