just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
