I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
do nipples grow back?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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