Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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