I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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