the new term for farting is butt boxing.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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