After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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