They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
