are you still at the devil's house?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
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