my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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