i think my tv is drunk
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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