Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
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