I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
