weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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