oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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