I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
