Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
