Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
