so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
