Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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