I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
bring money and cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize