Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty