you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize