i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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