Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes

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(469): View more from Texas

You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I will fight anything that is not spinning right now

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(410): View more from Maryland

Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(315): View more from New York

I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?

(718): View more from New York

Keg backpack and a Bike

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(240): View more from Maryland

She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you

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(360): View more from Washington

So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?

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