Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
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instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.