I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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