So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
