New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
