at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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