I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize