He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
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