dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
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Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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