ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
