Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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